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Looking for meaning

News, Baby ·Tuesday January 15, 2019 @ 19:19 EST (link)

I ended my last note by saying I miss my family. I miss my son especially; he had no choice in being kidnapped and removed from his father who loves him. And I wonder why Honey did it. It's easy to say "she's evil"—her acts certainly have been, and cruel too, in holding out hope when she was merely biding her time to do the most harm she could with legal safety, but that's not explanatory. What would motivate her to such a thing? Clearly she was unhappy; that's built-in, you don't leave a situation where you're happy. But in the eight months I drove there every other week trying to get her to come back, to restore our family rather than tear it apart, she was cold, she had thrown up a wall between us; it is evident now that from the very beginning she intended to go through with this evil and had no intention whatsoever of turning from it.

Had she been unfaithful (more than in the sense of running off and not keeping the promises and vows she made) and turned to someone else? I wouldn't have thought it, but I wouldn't have thought she could run off and be as cruel as she had been, to keep my son from me and lie to me day after day. She had opportunity with all of her visits to WV and all the time she spent online while I was at work.

Was she just pining for WV, and wanting to give up on marriage and instead regress to a comfortable environment where she could pretend to be a child again, taken care of by family—instead of by me—playing where she grew up, hanging out with her former social groups, going to her old church, which for her and her family has always been about socializing rather than about God? That's a possibility too, I suppose. A few advisers have independently come up with the idea that she never was a Christian, she had no "fruit" of a Christian life; and Paul says to let the unbelieving spouse depart and frees the one left to remarry.

Or perhaps she's not rational. One idea I've also been shown is a postpartum condition (which extends beyond just the oft-heard "postpartum depression" into a variety of issues), for which she should be evaluated if it is possible. Situations exactly like this, where a wife does a complete turn in her attitudes toward a kind and loving husband and runs off with a young child have been described online by several people across different sites. Such conditions can be treated with medicine and psychology, and denial of such a condition is also common.

Would I take her back? I've been asked that a lot too. I loved, trusted, and cared for her more than anyone ever, so very much, she was everything to me; and of course trusting like that allows for hurt like this. But yes, I would. We would need to work through whatever the issues were with counseling, for a long time I expect, but I would do whatever was necessary to put our family back together.